Surprises in the Bedroom

Five Moves she won’t expect

When you first meet someone and hit the sheets, everything is new. The way she moves, smells and feels is different from anything you’ve experience before, and most importantly: she’s never seen your moves either! Fast forward a few happy months or years, and the moves start to get stale. You still turn each other on, but you can feel a routine forming, and you wish you could recapture the excitement that used to flow so effortlessly.

There are many ways to renew sexual excitement with a long term partner. Communication is always a great place to start to get things moving. Ask her what she likes and how she likes it. Then try a few of these ideas to keep things fresh.

Fantasies

Sexual excitement is all in your head. If you want to engage your partner and move to a new level of intimacy, ask her what her fantasies are. She may be self-conscious about it at first, but once the conversation is started, you’re on your way to a more fulfilling sex life. If she tells you she’s always wanted to ‘do it’ outdoors, now’s your chance to prove to her that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to satisfy her urges, which is very sexy. But fantasies don’t have to involve grass stains on your jeans or fancy props. She may tell you she fantasizes about something as simple as kissing on the couch for hours, until you’re both ready to rip each other’s clothes off. You won’t know until you ask! 

Erotic Massage

Giving your lover a massage is a tried and true route to better sex. You both relax and get into a rhythm with your bodies which mirrors the act itself. It feels wonderful to be touched and caressed, and breeds a sense of trust and intimacy. Choose a massage glide that can double as a personal lubricant, so that when your massage turns amorous, you can transition into making love without having to worry about any reactions to oil-based products. Tip: condoms break down when exposed to petroleum-based products.

Time of Day

Do you and your spouse or long term partner have a sex routine? Many couples fall into the rut of “sex night” where their love-making becomes as predictable as a television schedule. Instead, take a cue from your DVR and have sex on demand! Surprise her in the middle of the afternoon with the offer of a massage, or wake her up with dozens of kisses on the back of her neck and see if she’s in the mood. Sometimes evening is the worst time to make love because you’re strained and tired from the day and would rather put your feet up and read a book. So switch up the schedule!

Introduce Lubricant

Even if you don’t feel you ‘need’ personal lubricant, give it a try. It’s fun to create a slippery, sliding sensation between you, and it takes the pressure off her to produce more fluids than she may be able to. For fun and exploration, try warming lubes and flavored lubes too. Her body will respond to the new sensations instantly and you’re guaranteed to prove that you’re taking your sex lives to a new level. Wetter is better!

Introduce a Toy

Sex toys aren’t just for masturbation. It may seem like you and her vibrator are mutually exclusive, but open up your mind to the possibilities of using her toy with her, or buying one for her if she doesn’t own one. You can have a giggle together at the buzzing sound at first, but she’s guaranteed to stop giggling when you slip it between her legs. Sex toys can take the pressure of performance, and bring you closer together.

If you’re feeling left out of your own sex life, try giving some of these ideas a try to get things moving again. Your lover will appreciate the effort to become more intimate, and remember that communication is the key to all of these solutions.