How To Have A No-Strings Fling

How to Enjoy A Summer No-strings Fling!

Sometimes you just want to find a lover for the summer and have no strings attached, which is of course, easier said than done. Lots of people say they want to go out and ‘have fun’ over the summer, but then they end up seriously dating the first person that comes along, or they’re too afraid to initiate something casual in the first place. But if the idea of a casual sex partner appeals to you, then here are a few things to keep in mind.

Choosing A Casual Mate

The best way to find a no-strings summer lover is to break out of your same-old mold. If you go for blondes every time, try flirting with that brunette who looks like she’s got attitude to spare. Or if you always go for guys with the Bruce Springsteen jeans and T-shirt look, try the guy with the expensive suit but scruffy beard who just winked at you across the room. Don’t dismiss him as creepy until you talk to him. He could be the guy you hook up with every week or so – your late night booty call when you didn’t find Mr. Right.

No Strings Means More Flings

The definition of ‘no strings’ is that you and your new lover are not attached to each other. If you see him out with another woman on Saturday night, you can’t get mad, and if she shows up at your local with another dude, you have to smile through it. But these scenarios aren’t very likely anyway, because the person you pick should be out of your usual wheelhouse.

Be Honest

The most important thing about a no-strings relationship is that you establish there are no strings right off the top. And by right off the top, I mean before sex. Sounds easy, right? Well, don’t overlook it, because this is important. It’s no good to spend an entire lovemaking session with someone having them think that you could be ‘the one’ when you’re thinking they’re definitely not. Instead, before you commit to her place or his, get the facts on the table. Here are the main points to get across:

1. I’m very attracted to you; you seem like a fun person

2. I’m not looking for a serious relationship and want my freedom this summer, but if you’re game for some nights of passion, so am I.

3. Please be honest with me about what you’re looking for from this.

Be Prepared

You also have to be honest with yourself and be prepared for the potential pitfalls of keeping a summer lover. If you don’t stick to a few basic rules, you will be in danger of getting too close to this person and stepping dangerously into relationship territory. And as we’ve all learned from Carrie Bradshaw, you can’t turn a fuck buddy into a boyfriend.

1. Don’t sleep over, or let him sleep over – conversations about eggs and bacon are in the relationship zone, so if you go there, there may be no turning back.

2. Don’t see him / her more than once a week. Every ten days or two weeks is ideal, but once a week is the absolute maximum. Otherwise you will be subconsciously sitting by the phone instead of enjoying your awesome summer and meeting other potential long-term people.

3. Practice safe sex at all times! You don’t know where this person’s been. Use condoms and / or dental dams 100% of the time. Don’t make me recite STD statistics – suffice it to say that safer sex is better sex.

There are lots of reasons why you might want to take a lover this summer season. You just got out of a serious relationship and want to have some fun, you’d like to experiment sexually before settling down, you’re about to move across the country so you don’t want to get into anything serious. Whatever your reasons, play safe with your body and your emotions by following these steps to no-strings bliss!